Sacred Journey Therapy Blog

Do you find that you are often taking care of other people’s needs at the expense of your own? Do you find yourself angry, frustrated, and resentful while at the same time feeling guilty about your feelings?

Perhaps you are the person that just cannot say “NO” or on the other had you have a hard time saying “YES” when you really want to. Do you find that when you enter a room people cluster around you to have their needs met or on the other hand do they scatter at the sight of you, fearful of your expectations and demands.

Healthy boundaries allow us to say what we think and feel in a loving non-destructive way. Boundaries can change over time and in different situations but the goal is to be aware of and in control of our boundaries at all times.

This day long workshop will help you understand if you are a Steamroller or a Doormat and provide insights and strategies on how to come back to a balanced place of healthy boundaries that will nurture your life and the lives of those around you.

Email if you would like to be placed on the class list for any of the posted events

• The Shadow Series January 14, 21, 28, 2015 (7 – 9 pm)
• Introduction to Meditation January 19, 26, February 2
  (Evenings 6 – 7pm)
• Introduction to Meditation January 23, 30, February 6
  (Daytime 12 – 1pm)
• Shamanic Journey Workshop January 24, 2015
• Healthy Boundaries February 28, 2015 (10 am – 4 pm)
• Reiki First Degree Class: March 5 – 8, 2015
  Space is limited so please book your spot in advance.

Socialization, books and books have been written about this topic so to completely address it here may be way outside a reasonable expectation, that being said, it needs to be recognized as an influential aspect of any group dynamic. Men and women are socialized in different ways (that is clear) so I would suggest the healing process requires sensitivity to those differences not a judgement of them.

Socialization of both men and women is unavoidable, has its value, and also its stereotypical restrictions. It seems to me though,   when we embrace outdated versions of male/female we are left with a more difficult task, in the context of healing. We have a choice to focus on the darker aspect of male/female dynamic or to focus on the light (highest potential) to guide the healing process.

The path of healing for men and women is different for many reasons but to name a few I would suggest that socialization, associated stigma, and the natural and authentic expression of masculine/feminine are paramount.

Are men and women different? Well, yes!

So, what does that mean in the context of healing? It seems to me that the one size fits all model of healing cannot be helpful. The concepts of safety, communion, and autonomy are necessary in the healing journey but the words can mean very different things to men and women.

I  have clients (men and women) who work in careers that highly stigmatize any “cry” for help . Each of these clients has an EAP program available to them but they are reluctant to use it. Why is that? Fear of implications if someone found out they needed help. Stigma is a powerful force in our culture and it has a profoundly negative impact on both men and women looking for help.

How do I see the differences between personal power and power differential? Well in my view, personal power is the expression of your innate strength, convictions, responsibility, and compassion. This aspect in its healthy expression does not suggest arrogance or dominance but the strength to listen, consider, and take action. These actions are taken for the good of many and not the good of one alone. Although, personal power at times may isolate us and place us at odds with the path of group thinking, it still suggests a capacity and responsibility to speak our conviction without imposing them on others. Expression does not equate to oppression.

Power differential, on the other hand, is fertile ground for arrogance, ego, and abusive behaviour of all kinds. This power differential may exist in an organization, family, community, country, or individual. The phrase “power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely” is an apt expression of power differential at work. In contrast equal rights and access to resources, speech, safety, health care, affiliation, mobility, and expression are all hallmarks of a culture that embraces personal power.

Authentic masculinity and patriarchy, what is the difference and why should we care? Well, first off I would suggest that the authentic and sacred masculine/feminine aspect for all of us is a natural expression of who we are. Patriarchy, on the other hand, is a sociopolitical structure. In many cases the conflation of the two distinct definitions can cause men or women to feel devalued, persecuted, or shamed.

Is there anything inherently wrong or defective with the authentic expression of masculine or feminine? In my view, No! Much like the yin yang symbol each blends into the other and holds at its core the essence of the other. This symbol points to a concept that transcends the day to day grit of sociopolitical structures such as patriarchy or matriarchy. The yin yang symbol demonstrates how we can have polarity in the context of unity. If we disenfranchise one half of the polarity then we weaken the unity.

Music and guided imagery will support your new meditation practice (for examples click here).

Meditation … how do I do that? Do I have to sit a special way? How do I make my mind go blank? Are you kidding me, I am far too busy and stressed out to just sit there and do nothing !!! I just don’t have time.

Have you ever said or thought these words when thinking about value of meditation. Well you are not alone. Often, the biggest obstacle to a nurturing meditative practice is the first step, just getting started. But, there are ways to make meditation a part of your life in a natural, easy, and practical way.

First, many people have a misconception that you will have to take on some kind of yogic posture that requires you to twist your legs into a pretzel and then sit in excruciating pain for hours at a time trying to empty your mind of all thought. Well, you can do that if you like but it is not the most effective way to start.

I believe that using music and guided imagery to initiate your meditation practice is the easiest way to start. If you set aside two sessions per day that are as short as five to ten minutes each, you will see positive results.  Research suggests (Polyvagal Theory, Dr. Porges) that modulated tones (music) can affect the vagal nerve and stimulate the relaxation response. That is to say, bring you down from the fight- flight feeling you experience every day in your hectic life.

The guided imagery (journey) provides positive suggestions and images that will support further relaxation while engaging the powerful subconscious mind. The journey also has the capacity to set your “monkey mind” aside for a short time and give you something to attend to, while the right side of your brain is naturally activated allowing for greater creativity, increased health, and natural healing.

Many people find that short meditation sessions are the best way to begin a regular practice. Remember you are making a change to your daily routine and you know that a drastic change all at once is likely to result in less than optimal results. Remember the last time you joined a gym … perhaps a few months back … remember you were going to attend every day … how is that going?

So, start slowly with your expectations and ensure you get a “win” from your efforts. If you start with two sessions per day that are no more than five or ten minutes each you will be well on your way to a solid meditation practice.

Research shows that a regular meditation practice can enhance your immune system, promoting natural healing and resilience. It can reduce your stress levels and allow for more engaging and creative expression of who you are. It can unlock your creative nature allowing for innovative solutions, healthy choices, and natural healing.

Music and guided imagery will support your new meditation practice (for examples click here).

Have you ever wondered why you do the things you do or perhaps why others act in a way that seems to defy logic or reason. At times we may judge others in our lives or even harshly judge ourselves but there must be reasons we all act the way we do. The psychotherapy literature is filled with theories suggesting reasons for this and reasons for that but how can they all be true, or perhaps none of them true? Read More

I tend to believe that many of the theories that try to explain our behaviour are true but incomplete. That is to say, they hold a nugget of truth but not all the truth. We are complicated dynamic creatures living in a complicated world that is also ever changing. We have genetic influences and environmental influences (social, physical, emotional, spiritual) that combine in infinite ways to modify our growth and development.

All that being said, we can see patterns that help us refine our personal work in a particular way to yield optimal results. Consider the following descriptions and decide which one best describes you or someone you know:

1) Clingy, unable to cope with uncertainty or change in life or relationship. Seeking constant reassurances and safety.

2) Excessively protective, and unable to allow risk-taking, or steps towards independence. The world is dangerous and the worst will happen.

3) Little affective sharing. Little or no emotional expression is ever evident. The person is “rebellious” but actually has a low self-image and low self-esteem.

4) Volatile in their approach. Inconsistent between appropriate and inappropriate responses what the world brings them. You may feel like you are walking on eggshells when you are around them. You never know if you are going to be praised or abused in some way.

5) Comfortable with change, tolerant of others, and accepting alternate ways of seeing the world. Don’t have to be right but like to contribute to a solution. Adventurous, spontaneous, humorous, open.

If you recognize yourself in one of the simple descriptions above then congratulations, you are human. If you recognize someone else then remember they are human also. You may even recognize someone in that list that is not acceptable to you. I highlight these few differences so that we can see clearly, so we can discern but not so we can judge. Each one of us comes to this place with a unique set of determinant factors. Differences do not imply right or wrong, broken or whole, merely differences. Remember, you (or the people you recognize) have the capacity to change through awareness and personal work.

If the differences you see are a source of difficulty in your life or the lives of those around you it would suggest that work is required to bring balance to your life situation. Each of us has free will so we can continue on our existing path of suffering or … simply make a change.

All theories aside, you are the one who is the captain of your own ship. You are the author, the warrior, the seeker and your personal journey is important to you and those around you. Please continue to invest in yourself and the development of your full capacity.

Hypnosis has been used in the world of entertainment for years but did you know that hypnosis is also highly effective in helping people sort out difficult issues in their lives. Issues that are often addressed, during therapeutic hypnosis, include working with fears and phobias, anxiety, depression, traumatic memories, and unhelpful patterns of behaviour that tend to haunt our daily lives. Read More

Hypnosis is an ancient process used to access the subconscious part of our mind. More recently hypnosis has been implemented and studied by such recognizable figures as Franz Mesmer, Sigmund Freud and Milton Erickson, to name just a few.  Many believe that the conscious mind makes up only a small part of our awareness and that the sub-conscious portion holds 80% or more. This is much like the iceberg analogy where the conscious mind is represented by the part of an iceberg that we can see above the water line and the subconscious is represented by the much larger portion below the water line.

Ok, so what? Why do we care about the part of our mind that is normally hidden from our conscious awareness, even if it is bigger? If I am not conscious of it then, so be it, let’s move on and think our way through life.

Well, that is exactly the issue at hand. We often find that the logic and reasoning provided by our conscious mind has left us short of our full potential and tarnishes our experience of full and loving relationships. We may find that we avoid situations that make us uncomfortable and yet we don’t know why. In some cases this avoidance can be a good thing and it keeps us safe or out of unpleasant experiences but more often than not we avoid experiences based on an irrational fear held by our subconscious mind.

One way to look at the subconscious is to consider that it has no sense of time or space and yet it holds information from our formative past. For example, if I was frightened by a large black dog when I was a young child but I have forgotten (in my conscious mind) about that experience I may find that today (many years later) I am frightened or avoidant of dogs specifically or furry animals in general. I may avoid going to the zoo, getting a pet for my children, avoid certain kinds of movies, avoid going to a friend’s house knowing they have a dog. On and on it can go and our rational mind does not know where these issues come from but follows our “gut” feel to avoid certain things.

When we continue to follow the irrational motivations of our subconscious mind with little or no awareness then consider that we are actually … well, asleep. We are in a mental state that is based on our history and is not necessarily related to the experience we are having today in this moment. We are not conscious of the ways we restrict and diminish our lives and our potential experiences but all that can be changed through hypnosis. We can access the subconscious mind and put the historical experiences into a healthy context, one that no longer negatively effects our lives and relationships.

Hypnosis has been shown to be effective in the treatment of traumatic memories, fears, phobias, anxiety, pain reduction, removing old rigid beliefs, undesirable behaviours, and generally opening up to your full potential. If you would like to know more or would like to book a session please contact me at any time. Some common questions and answers are located on the website here.

Common Questions about Hypnosis

Traumatic brain injuries (concussions) have the potential to alter a person’s life in profound ways. We often think about automobile accidents, industrial accidents, or even serious medical conditions that may cause injury to our brains but how seriously do we think about sports activities.

Many names from hockey come to mind Claude Giroux, Chris Pronger, Eric Lindros, Pat LaFontaine, and the ongoing saga of Sidney Crosby. But is hockey the only sport that may be putting our young and healthy athletes at risk? Is sport really the problem or is it a lack of understanding about how vulnerable our brain is to traumatic impact.

Any sport or activity such as, football, soccer, bicycles, martial arts, baseball, basketball, boxing, MMA, skiing, skateboarding, rollerblading, or any other activity that may put our head at risk of physical impact must be carefully evaluated.  Not only do we have to look more closely at the activities we are involved in but we must look at all participants. The majority of attention has focused on male athletes but that is not the whole story by any means.“documentary examines female athletes and concussions”

The Brain Injury Association of Canada tells us that traumatic brain injuries (concussions) can have effect our sleep, anxiety, depression, and personality change. Many times the person is not aware of their personality changes but their family and friends are painfully aware. Overall the traumatic brain injury can affect our physical ability, emotional competency and our cognitive capacity in negative ways.

The first steps include using the correct safety equipment for your activity. Second, it is important to see your doctor if you suspect you have had a concussion. You are not helping yourself or your loved ones if you just “shake it off” and get back into the game.

For more information contact The Ontario Brain Injury Association and

in Peterborough contact the Brain Injury Association – Peterborough Region

There are many controlled acts that are restricted in Ontario. For example, Massage Therapy is a controlled act and can only be performed by a “Registered” massage therapist. What does that really mean though? Well, the provincial government regulates (through the College of Registered Massage Therapists of Ontario) the conduct of Registered Massage Therapists (RMTs) to ensure the safety of the public and ensure the highest levels of consistent client care.

Similarly, Psychotherapy is undergoing the same process. That is to say, the creation of a new College of Registered Psychotherapists of Ontario following standards and provisions of the Regulated Health Professions Act, 1991 (RHPA).read more

The act of Psychotherapy at present is not regulated but the process (initiated in 2007) is underway and expected to be complete by the end of 2013 or early 2014. In a nutshell, the controlled act of Psychotherapy will be restricted to those who are members of an Ontario college approved to perform the controlled act of Psychotherapy. The primary authorizing agency will be the College of Registered Psychotherapists of Ontario but will also include colleges controlling Nurses, Doctors, Social Workers, and Occupational Therapists.

The overlap of professionals available to perform controlled acts is part of the provincial healthcare design and it ensures clients have choice. Registration and authority to perform the scope of practice is intended to protect the public from untrained practitioners and ensure the highest quality client care.

The restricted act of Psychotherapy is defined as:

“The practice of psychotherapy is the assessment and treatment of cognitive, emotional or behavioural disturbances by psychotherapeutic means, delivered through a therapeutic relationship based primarily on verbal or non-verbal communication.”

For more information about The transitional Council of the College of Registered Psychotherapists    http://www.crpo.ca/

The Draft Registration Regulation
http://www.crpo.ca/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/Draft-Registration-Regulation-April-15-2013.pdf

Psychotherapy Act, 2007
https://www.e-laws.gov.on.ca/html/statutes/english/elaws_statutes_07p10_e.htm