Sacred Journey Therapy Blog

Ok, sad but true there are about 10 people every day who end their lives intentionally. The unfortunate truth about that miserable statistic is there are many more that do not show up on the “official statistics”, but none the less, have intentionally caused their own demise. How can you help?

Awareness and education are the first steps in the chain of successful helping strategies. The Canadian Suicide Prevention Association indicates, “Suicide data are somewhat under-reported due to the difficult nature of classifying suicide and the time lag in determining this as the cause of death”. In any event, it is important that we do not split hairs on the statistics and recognize in a broad stroke that suicide takes too many lives and that it is highly preventable.

Before we go further and become lost in the statistics lets break it down a bit more. The word suicide as itemized by Statistics Canada is concerned with those who die from suicide. As concerned friends and family it is important to know there are a number of signposts along the way that show up long before the final act. Individuals may have suicidal thoughts, that is to say, they may be thinking about ending their lives for a variety of reasons and they are starting to consider it as an option. Additional steps include making a plan and considering the best way to accomplish the task, followed by accumulating the necessary ingredient to fulfil the plan (alcohol, pills, gun, rope, car, motorcycle etc.). All attempts at suicide are not fully completed and the statistics indicate there are between 10-25 attempts for every suicide death.

The groups most at risk include: Adolescents, one quarter of all adolescent deaths, 15-24, are a result of suicide, including young men between ages of 20 and 24 in addition to senior men over the age of 80. Males are three times more likely to complete suicide where as females are more than twice as likely to attempt suicide. Statistics Canada says that “mental illness is the most important risk factor for suicide; and that more than 90% of people who die from suicide have a mental or addictive disorder. Depression is the most common illness among those who die from suicide, with approximately 60% suffering from this condition”. So, what can we do to help?

First step is to be aware of your friends and family members, depression and substance abuse can be “red flags” to help you become more acutely aware that something may be happening. Other warning signs include: a feeling there is no hope for the future, self-loathing, self-hatred, getting affairs in order, talking about suicide, and self-destructive behaviour to name a few.

You are not going to put the thought into their heads so “speak up if you’re worried”. Open the conversation and ask questions. Try to determine how far they are into the process (thoughts, plans, necessary equipment, time frame, intention) and seek professional help as quickly as possible. Crisis lines Telecare Distress Centre of Peterborough (705) 745-2273 or Four Counties Crisis (866) 995-9933

Remember a good friend or concerned family member will listen with a compassionate ear and provide support in finding appropriate help. It is not your responsibility to fix the problem but to recognize the signs and support the healing process. Help your friend to make the crisis line call, take them to the emergency department, and help them to make an appointment with a trained psychotherapist, counsellor, or other mental health practitioner.

To get a listing of other community support numbers, web pages and contacts click here

Many of us are sad, down, or blue from time to time. It is normal because life does not always deliver what we want. In addition, our energy levels may move up and down through the day or through the seasons, I love the fall. I find there is something invigorating about the cold crisp air and the amazing colours that I see in the changing leaves, as the fall approaches. On the other hand, I am often more reserved during mid February and my energy level is somewhat lower. What if you or a loved one is always “down”

The Canadian Mental Health Association tells us, “Someone experiencing depression is grappling with feelings of severe despair over an extended period of time. Almost every aspect of their life can be affected, including their emotions, physical health, relationships and work”. Depression is often associated with behaviour that indicates a loss of interest, deep despair, “no light at the end of the tunnel”, and “what is the point”. In 2012 the Statistics Canada Health Analysis Division reported that the life time prevalence of depression is about 12% here in Canada. Again, more than one in ten people, similar in many ways to the prevalence of Anxiety in Canada.

Clearly depression is seen through a dark and gloomy emotional state but can also be recognized through symptoms such as fatigue, reduced capacity to think clearly or remember things, and reduced social interactions (work and play). Deep and chronic depression can be a life-threatening problem but it is treatable. Sometimes all it takes is a concerned friend or family member to start the conversation, lend a compassionate ear, and help them find professional help. You can be that concerned friend and your actions may save a life.

We all get anxious from time to time and we may feel butterflies in our stomach or our breathing becomes rapid. The physical symptoms are most often short lived and we quickly return to a sense of well being. However, what if we avoid people, places, and things, feel sick, dizzy or uneasy on a regular basis.

What if we react in a more exaggerated way, perhaps we feel sick to our stomach, we start avoiding situations, events, or people. We may feel our heart race, breathing becomes drastically altered, our vision blurred or restricted, and we may feel frozen in time. Anxiety affects each of us in different ways. The symptoms in an extreme case may be similar to that of a heart attack or in a mild case rapid heart rate and elevated breathing.

In either event, the anxiety often reduces a person’s ability to experience the world and their lives in a complete and open way. Instead of approaching life with curiosity and wonder, their life can be filled with fear, dread, anger, resentment, and avoidance strategies.

The Anxiety Disorders Association of Canada states, “Anxiety Disorders are the most common mental health concern in Canada. They are also highly treatable”. Perhaps anxiety is a problem for you, for a friend, or family member but there is no need to suffer in silence. Help is available. The Anxiety Disorders Association of Canada further tells us that anxiety disorders “affect about 12% of all Canadians in any given year”. So, look around your group of friends, classmates, workmates, hockey team, soccer team, church group, book club, and know that more than one in ten of them may suffer from chronic anxiety related issues.

If you are aware of the people around you then you may have the opportunity to lend a helping hand, supporting ear, or help finding a counsellor, psychotherapist, or medical doctor to assist with the problem.

Remember, take time to talk to your friend or family member. Let them know you care. “Hey wait a minute, they should know I care, shouldn’t they?” Well, yes but remember they may not be thinking clearly and they may need reassurance and help sorting out what to do and where to go to find help. Sometimes it can be as easy as just taking time to hear what they have to say and other times trained help is needed. In either event, you won’t know what to do if you don’t first start the conversation … “Hey Sue, you know I have notice lately that …. Do you want to talk about it … do you need some help”

In this newsletter, I would like to address issues relating to the stigmatized and taboo subject of mental health. About one in three Canadians will have a mental health issue at some point in their life. It is important to remember that Mental Health issues are not a weakness but are legitimate, recognized and treatable conditions.

Mental health concerns can be more prevalent than physical health problems. In fact in a 2013 report Caroline Cassels states, “mental and substance use disorders are the leading cause of nonfatal illness worldwide” and in 2010 Professor Harvey Whiteford found that, “Mental and substance use disorders were the fifth leading contributor to death and disease worldwide”. Yet those suffering with mental health issues are often destined to suffer in silence. I encourage you to open your awareness, step forward and help. You may ask, how can I do that, I am not trained for that kind of thing.

The World Health Organization (WHO) tells us, “Mental health is more than the absence of mental disorders” it is a measure of total wellbeing. The WHO goes on to state worldwide, “More than 450 million people suffer from mental disorders. Many more have mental problems”. First, we are not here to split hairs and decide what is a disorder and what is a problem, it is not our job to diagnose but to simply observe and become aware that our friend or family member is suffering and in need of help.

Many people don’t understand that mental health (MH) issues can be greatly reduced, or eliminated completely with support in a variety of areas. First, how do we spot the problem in our scope or awareness? Consider how you would react to a friend who displays one of the following behaviours:

Recently they have been missing time from work and are increasingly dropping out of their social circles.

You notice that your friend has strong reactions to what are small events.

Your friend seems very distant and withdrawn. They don’t see the point of things and are not interested in becoming engaged in their life anymore.

Your friend is becoming more and more angry at work and in social settings and they have uncharacteristic outbursts of emotion.

Again, let’s clarify, we are not in the position to diagnose anything but that is not really the point. We are, however, able to observe that our friend’s behaviour has changed and they are in need of help. The change may have been noticeable over time or it may have coincidentally started shortly after a challenging or stressful experience. We are not looking for a label to define our friend’s condition but we do want to help them find support and healing.

Experience is subjective. Stressful experiences for one person just flow off the back of the next person. We are all unique individuals and in the same way that we may be more susceptible to the flu if our immune system is over taxed, we can also be more susceptible to the fallout from challenging situations if our mental immune system is overloaded.

Overload may come from a variety of events that permeate our lives. Physical traumas resulting from operations, accidents, illness, or physical abuse are common events or situations that overload an individual. We may also suffer job loss, death of friends or relatives, marital breakup, transitions into or out of school, poor grades, or emotional and psychological abuse. The point is this, we are all triggered by different events in different ways and our capacity to respond is directly related to our personal resilience.

It is important that we are not judgmental with our friend. Remember they are not displaying a weakness but a legitimate, recognized and treatable condition. Your friend is showing some kind of unusual behaviour and you want to help. The last thing you would want to do is tell them to “get over it” or “ the car accident was 2 months ago … it’s time to move on”.  They would if they could so another strategy is necessary and … yes, you can help them.

We would not hesitate to suggest that our friend visit the local chiropractor, naturopath, osteopath, medical doctor, or nutritionist and we would likely offer to drive them or help in some way to ensure they received appropriate support. Mental Health is no different, you can support your friend by first acknowledging that you see a change and that you are willing to listen to their story and help in some way. Remember, there are trained professionals who work with mental health issues every day and they include psychotherapists, mental health practitioners, social workers, life coaches, grief counsellors, and employee assistance providers (EAP) to name a few. Help your friend or family member to see appropriate support and then follow up to see how they are doing.

To get a listing of other community support numbers, web pages and contacts click here

Mental Health is such a taboo subject that it may keep many of you from even reading this short article.

None the less, mental health is a critical element in our society and I believe we must address it head on.

If I get the flu, I can go to the naturopath and get support in my recovery, if I pull a muscle I can go to a massage therapist or a physiotherapist to get support. Most of us don’t feel any reluctance or shame when looking for help in those physical areas but when it comes to mental health we are often too confused or frightened to seek help.

We may feel judged or defective in some way if we need some guidance or support with our mental health. Some struggle in silence and produce painful lives for themselves and their loved ones. Hoping it all just goes away can have devastating and disastrous consequences. So, what can you do to help yourself, your friends, or your family.

The Mental Health Commission of Canada recently said that 20% (1 in 5) people in Canada live with some form of mental illness. That is a staggering number of people who are missing work, struggling with relationships, and contributing less to society than they could. If that many people were off with the flu, for example, or out of commission due to digestive problems, then the issue would be front-page news. We would band together, pool our resources, and make a difference but the unfortunate truth is we (as a society) want the issue to just go away and not be true.

One of the popular misconceptions about mental illness is that people who are mentally ill are violent. This is a gross exaggeration and one that is not helpful at all. Consider that one in five people that you work with may struggle with mental illness. Does that concern you, does it help to explain why behaviour is not always what you expect to see. Does it open your heart with compassion for your fellow workers? Ok, what is next? What can we do?

Did you know that many forms of mental illness develop before we are 18 years old. It makes sense when you think about it, those are the formative years and can be a source of great stress and tension as we grow and develop.

Mental Health First Aid (MHFA) is an international program that has been active since about 2007. The program is offered in every province in Canada and throughout Ontario in particular. Many organizations, church groups, employers, unions, volunteer groups, and families who are affected by mental illness have participated in this program.

Perhaps next time you see someone in distress, don’t turn away, ask if they need help. Sometimes just a caring voice, helping hand, or a compassionate ear can make all the difference. Don’t be afraid to suggest they go to seek some help. A quick look through Google will bring up at least 50 highly trained and talented counsellors, psychotherapists, or mental health practitioners from the Peterborough area alone.

To help with this problem (remember it affects 1 in 5 people) we have to first bring it into the light of day. We must become educated about mental illness; we must work with diligence and compassion. To see a very interesting youtube video by Shelagh Rogers as she speaks about mental health Click Here.

Her video is part of “Opening Minds” a Canadian program focused on reducing stigma and seeking to change Canadians’ behaviours and attitudes toward people living with mental illness.

Yes, we all breathe but how do we breathe is the question. Often our lives are filled with chaos and stress from the fast-paced, achievement-based world we live in, but does it have to be that way. Ancient traditions from yoga, martial arts, tai chi, qi gong, meditation and more all praise the value of conscious breath work. Yet, many of us continue to go through our lives breathing in an unconscious way that is guided by our autonomic nervous system. “What is wrong with that” you may ask, “breathing is natural and my body is doing just fine, thank you very much”. Well, is it really?

Recent scientific research in Neuroimmunology, meditation and breathing indicates that many of us have restricted shallow breath. We are generally not conscious of it but the results of such restriction can show up in the form of asthma, mood disorders, digestion issues, and immune system disorders, to name just a few.

Andrew Weil, Deepak Chopra, Candace Pert, and many others speak at length about the high value of breathing in a controlled and conscious way. Most often, we utilize only small portions of our lung capacity (the upper 25%) and leave the remaining lower section of our lungs underutilized. Our lives are often filled with stress and chaos, and that puts our system into a state of continual Fight-Flight. We breathe in accordance with that state and deplete our bodies and our minds of resources that are necessary.

The problem is that our bodies are not designed to be in a continual state for frantic attention. The stress hormones surge through our system and redirect nutrients to systems in our body that are necessary for Fight-Flight. The redirection of nutrients and body resources tends to deplete other systems that are necessary for regular daily function and ongoing healing. In the long term, these depleted systems show up in our bodies as mood dysfunction, immune system dysfunction, digestion issues, and impaired judgement to name a few.

So, what can we do?

Start to breath in a conscious and informed way. There are many good books on the subject of meditative breathing, relax response breathing, and conscious breathing. A quick Google search will provide a number of authors of books, CDs, and DVDs who can help with the details.

One simple breath technique that I often use when I am meditating is very helpful for reducing agitation, high emotion, and impulsive thought and it goes like this:

Slowly breathe in to the lower part of your abdomen (lower lungs) Continue by consciously filling the middle and then the upper part of the lungs Hold for a short time and then release your breath through your nose in a slow controlled way.

Now, this is not a competition so if you feel yourself gasping for air or feeling dizzy then you are trying too hard. The idea is to breathe consciously and to increase your capacity but it is not a competition and you are not looking to enter the Olympic breathing team. If you can take 10 conscious and complete breaths then you are on your way so start slowly and build from there.

Research indicates that conscious and full breath can increase oxygen levels in the blood, enhance hormone production, improve brain chemistry, enhance immune response, increase pain tolerance, and assist the healing process.

Well, here it is August already. The summer has been treating us to constantly changing weather and some parts of the world continue to feel chaotic, at best. The two may be connected, I am not sure, but as hot as it may have been a few weeks ago, I am reminded that in a very short time, cold weather will return (all things change).

If we try to step back to see a bigger picture and follow the flow, we may notice there is a season and natural rhythm to all things.

Nelson Mandela turned (95), Calgary has been flooded, Toronto has been flooded, the Middle East continues to be volatile, Detroit has gone bankrupt, and financial stress is pressing many countries around the world. So, is this reason for despair … well actually, No.

The world is in constant flux and we can see change everywhere around us. One constant about nature is its capacity for change and we are in fact, part of the natural order. The more we resist change the more we experience pain. So, how do we move with grace in times that feel like they are filled with chaos and turmoil?

Change is as natural as falling off a log but most of us don’t want to fall. Often, we are overloaded with our personal agenda items and we have expectations about the way we want the world to be. What if we just let go and allowed the world to find balance? What if we did not fight the changes and allowed natural order to find its way? What if we released some of our personal core beliefs and considered alternate perspective?

Deepak Chopra suggests we can do one of three things while attempting to maintain mental and physical health in the face of chaos. First, fix the issue, second, if you can’t fix it, move away from the issue, third, surrender to what is. In many cases, the issue can be so big it is beyond our personal capacity to “fix” it. Additionally, we may not have the ability to move away from it. To save our mental and physical health Deepak encourages us to surrender to it, for now. Remember, all things change.

Nelson Mandela was sentenced to life in prison during the 1960s and he could not “fix it” or move away from such a sentence. He had to surrender to the situation and accept that all things will change in time. Now, that does not mean that he capitulated but he had to surrender to what was in his reality at the time and continue to hold onto hope that change would come.

Surrender does not mean give in to everything and allow ourselves to be pushed and blown through life like a leaf in a strong windstorm. Surrender is the capacity to accept what is, while working hard toward a new outcome. At the same time, we are encouraged to hold the new outcome lightly in our hearts.

Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King, and Nelson Mandela teach us that surrender does not mean give up, does not mean accept abuse, and does not mean depleting our mental and physical health lamenting what has been or stressing about what may come.

We are asked to change the things we can, to start with our own beliefs and our own behaviour. If we want honesty in the world then we must be honest ourselves, if we want compassion in the world then we must act out with compassion. It is strange to expect peace from others when we many still act out with aggression or violence when things do not go our way.

Finally, change is inevitable so why not get on board and help direct the change in your life, where possible. If we all look at the core beliefs that form our reality and be open to them changing or being replaced then we may finally be free of guilt from the past and stress about the unformed future.