According to World Health Organization, many people with mental health concerns refrain from seeking treatment because of the stigma associated with it. The fact is that families from all walks of life are affected by mental health concerns, regardless of age, race, income, religion or education. Stigma is a barrier to awareness, prevention, diagnosis & care.

Most people know this intuitively but don’t want to accept or admit to their families, friends, or coworkers that they are having problems with something. Without help the consequences for the individual and society are staggering and result in unnecessary disability, unemployment, substance abuse, homelessness, inappropriate incarceration, suicide and wasted personal potential.

Addressing mental health issues may require you overcoming your reluctance to talk to others about a mental health concern. Treatment may include talking to a trained mental-health professional who can help understand strengths and challenges, resolve practical problems, and support healing.

Your mental health has a direct and measurable impact on your physical health and overall well-being.Knowing and learning more about yourself is the best investment you can make today. If knowledge is power, self-knowledge is the ultimate power.

Toxic Parents, It’s not about Blaming, It’s about Reclaiming

Does this mean that we expect that our parents should have been perfect in every way? Well, no. We are all human and we can all lose control and act out in hurtful ways from time to time. The problem occurs when children are subjected to chronic toxic parenting.

The chronic toxic parents can have a profoundly negative affect on the development of a child. Often the children take responsibility for the parents’ deficient behavior, and that is where part of the problem starts. As the child struggles to “fix” the problem they are painfully unaware that the problem is not theirs and they have no power to change/fix it. In an endless struggle to find love a child will take responsibility for the behavior of the toxic parent and that is often the genesis of anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and troubled relationships.

Over time the child develops patterns of survival (although helpful at that time) that turn out to be very negative in adult (mature) relationships.

As a bare minimum parents must consistently provide …..

“1. They must provide for their children’s physical needs.

2. They must protect their children from physical harm.
3. They must provide for their children’s needs for love,attention, and affection.

4. They must protect their children from emotional harm.
5. They must provide moral and ethical guidelines for their children.”
   (Susan Forward, 2002)

Once we can look at what has happened and reassign the responsibility for toxic parenting back to the parents, then and only then, can we start to move forward with personal healing. Reclaiming personal power requires an understanding of what happened and how it changed your life.

Then you can take responsibility for your present moment and your future direction. Personal power comes from healing old wounds and turning them into your personal wisdom.

It would be funny, if it were not so painful,  the number of times someone said to me they  had a “normal” childhood with a loving family. Yes, it is true we learn our own version of “normal” and yes we all survived (because we are here now, looking at each other) but the legacy of the past continues to influence many lives in very insidious ways. The quote from Susan Forward’s book illustrates the minimum level of support a child should expect. Unfortunately, many children get a small subset of the list she describes.

“Children have the basic inalienable rights to be fed, clothed, sheltered, and protected. But along with these physical rights, they have the right to be nurtured emotionally, to have their feelings respected, and to be treated in ways that allow them to develop a sense of self-worth.

Children also have the right to be guided by appropriate parental limits on their behaviour, to make mistakes, and to be disciplined without being physically or emotionally abused.

Finally, children have the right to be children. The have the right to spend their early years being playful, spontaneous, and irresponsible.”

Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life (Susan Forward PhD, pg 30, 2002)

The new College of Registered Psychotherapists and Registered Mental Health Therapists of Ontario (CRPO) has been proclaimed by the Government of Ontario as of April 1, 2015. This is a significant step in the ongoing process of regulating Psychotherapy in Ontario and will bring our recognition up to par with some of the other Canadian provinces.

The CRPO mandate is to work on behalf of the public (not the Psychotherapists) and to ensure that competency, ongoing training, types of practice, and ethical regulations are maintained within the Psychotherapy and mental health practice in Ontario.

“Anyone who wishes to use the title, “psychotherapist” (or an abbreviation of that title), or who holds him/herself out as qualified to practice as a psychotherapist in Ontario must become registered, unless they are already a member of one of the other regulated professions whose members may practice psychotherapy.”

“Many will be wondering about the implications of this postponement and why it is necessary. Given that the controlled act is very broad, it has caused many mental health service providers to see themselves as possibly involved in performing this activity, thus requiring registration with the new College. Postponement of the controlled act will allow time to develop a better understanding of its meaning and implications. In the meantime, child and youth workers, addiction counsellors and mental health workers may continue to provide services without concerns about the proposed controlled act.”

I encourage you to visit the web page for the College of Registered Psychotherapists and Registered Mental Health Therapists of Ontario for more detailed information.

2015 Second Quarter Schedule (April – July)

Email if you would like to be placed on the class list for any of the posted events

• Shamanic Journey Workshop April 25, 2015
  (10 am – 4 pm)
• The Shadow Series April 27, May 4, 11, 2015
  (7 – 9 pm)
• Introduction to Meditation May 20, 27, June 3 2015
  (Evenings 6 – 7pm)
• Personal Growth June 6 2015
  (10 am – 4 pm)
• Healthy Boundaries June 20, 2015
  (10 am – 4 pm)
• Reiki First Degree Class: September, 2015
  Space is limited so please book your spot in advance.

My friend Tom (CAST Canada)  just shared this video (TED Talk) with me and I think it is very important information for all of us to consider. Adverse Childhood Experiences have a profound effect on our ability to form healthy adult relationships, complete educational goals, attain career objectives and maintain physical and mental health.

The Ted Talk by Dr. Nadine Burke Harris: How childhood trauma affects health across a lifetime is worth a listen, it only takes about 15 minutes and is time well spent.

Rupert Sheldrake is one of my favourite Spiritual Scientists and I find that his perspective is clear and concise. He is a very interesting story teller with a penetrating mind and an engaging sense of humour .

In this particular talk Rupert shares his thoughts about the movement from belief to disbelief and back again. He shares his own personal journey as well as thoughts and reflections on dogma, spirituality, and science.

click the link  below to listen to his talk

At times we are all busy working our way through daily chores, honey do lists, and personal achievements. It seems to me that we have been on a continually accelerating path toward faster and busier times. We can now receive information at a pace that is far beyond our capacity to process it.

So, what do we do with it all, and perhaps more importantly, why are we doing it anyway.

Do you find that the busy times (work, school, reading, gaming, shopping, TV) are bringing you joy? Perhaps at the end of an activity you find you can reflect on the significates of the completed activity. Check into your emotional and your rational thoughts to see what has transpired. Do you feel gratitude, compassion, fulfillment and joy as a result of your completed task? If not then perhaps it is time to look at your motivation behind your activity.

I have talked with many people who are very uncomfortable sitting alone or in silence. They are almost terrified to see what may arise in their thoughts or visions if they are not constantly stimulated or bombarded from an external source (work, school, achievements, TV). It is as if they are running from their internal reality by flooding their external experience with activity.

I would suggest that activities guided by the passion for life bring us closer in intimate loving relationships, open our hearts with compassion for others, come to us in natural time and are not forced upon us, stimulate emotional connection, stimulate our intuition, and our capacity to see new horizons.

On the contrary, if we allow our activities to keep us endlessly busy without moment-to-moment awareness, search endlessly for the next activity (like a chain smoker), feel depleted, feel like we are being used or we are using others in the process, and we feel numb and overwhelmed then we are likely acting compulsively.

When we live compulsively we are more likely to suffer physical symptoms, live in fear of emotions, and search the external world endlessly for solutions to our pain. The path to passionate living comes from our internal world and is then reflected in our external world. In my view, it is a matter of directionality and motivation.

When we continually try to fill our internal lives from external objects then we remain in pain and live from compulsive behaviours. When we look inside and start to become aware of our emotions and honest motivations we are more able to satisfy our soul.

Living with Passion is the process of satisfying our soul. To satisfy our soul we start from our internal world and study our emotions and our motivations deeply.

Well, here we are nearing the end of 2014 and we are still waiting to see the proclamation of the new College of Registered Psychotherapists of Ontario (CRPO). The process began back in 2007 and continues to this day. Some feel the CRPO will have a negative impact and meddle causing bureaucracy and reduction of alternative forms of mental health care.

I believe the CRPO has a place and I, for one, am very interested in it being proclaimed as soon as possible. I believe that those doing quality work and helping clients will have little trouble proving their work. Those who are not well trained or have minimal experience will be encouraged to continue their growth.

The latest news from the CRPO states:

“Nothing in the Psychotherapy Act, 2007 will prevent alternative practitioners from continuing their work. The scope of practice of psychotherapy will not be exclusive to members of the new College of Registered Psychotherapists of Ontario or to members of other regulatory colleges. Any person can provide services that fall within the scope of practice of psychotherapy, so long as they do not:

use any restricted title; or
hold themselves out as qualified to practise as a psychotherapist in Ontario; or
perform the controlled act of psychotherapy.

• use any restricted title; or
• hold themselves out as qualified to practise as a psychotherapist in Ontario; or
• perform the controlled act of psychotherapy.”

The Canadian Mental Health Association Ontario (CMHA) has been working on the promotion of a multi-year program that focuses on healthy eating and adequate exercise. The research suggests (not to anyones surprise) that our mental health is profoundly affected by our lifestyle choices (eating habits, exercise, and social engagement).

“Our minds and bodies have a deep and complicated relationship. While we can’t say that all mental health issues cause physical health problems, or vice versa, we do know that they are intimately connected. Physical health problems impact stress, anxiety, mood and behaviours, for example.” (CMHA)